“If you desire healing, let yourself fall ill, let yourself fall ill.” – Rumi
The aspects of ourselves that we refuse to accept and that hide from us remain in our blindspots. The denial of our whole person; the good, the bad and the ugly, without that kind of judgement nor labelling is the resistance we exercise preventing us from moving into flow and our greateness.
Blindspots and denial are the unconscious and conscious aspects of the same process. Our limiting beliefs and blockages are sometimes quite plain for us to see, but we aren’t aware of their impact on our lives. However, they can also reside in our subconscious stemming from experiences of which we have no conscious memories.
They are revealed through our words, thoughts and actions, especially when we are triggered by experiences. Which is why we mustn’t waste a good trigger, they are the clues to finding the optimised version of ourselves. Whatever triggers us, an aspect of that is held unhealed within ourselves, so observe your experiences and how you respond to them. When you are triggered, ask yourself, “Interesting, I wonder when I experienced this fear the first time?”. First of all you interrupt the negative thought process by a inquisitive thought and by asking a question, you subconscious is compelled to give you an answer. If you are observant you will then get the path towards healing that aspect within yourself that was triggered by your external experience.
Be mindful of the dismissal and denial of the memories that might surface. What you may process as benign in adulthood, could very well be the original wounding that is the source of the energy that is holding you back. Your experience as a child is going to be from a completely different perspective than that of you as a person with a fully formed brain. Hence, view your experience from that younger perspective with compassion, acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude. Also, acknowledge and recognise the experience of your younger self for what it was, and ask that aspect of yourself it is indeed ok for you to let go of it and move on from it.
When you are working through these aspects of yourself it is important to treat yourself with authenticity, compassion, love and kindness. We tend to become defensive and lashing out, but try to move into a space of raw acceptance of who you are and the experiences you’ve had. The defensiveness is there as your protection, and it has protected you until now, so show it gratitude and compassion, but allow it to be released. Surround yourself with authentic people that you feel safe to have honest conversations with to start discovering the whole of you. Start working with yourself understanding what makes you tick and what you desire for yourself. Practice being aware of all aspects of yourself all the time. By creating new patterns that serves for you to becoming the optimal version of yourself, you replace the old patterns that have served to protect you from the perspective of your core wounding.
The more of these patterns you release, the less of these blindspots and denial will be there for you to discover. However, there will always be these aspects and it is important to work with others who can help us reveal them, but they will be easier and easier to work through as you become more and more resourced to deal with them.