It's never too late to choose life
“To avoid experiencing the anxious quiver at the core of our being, where we might feel the chaos of uncertainty or the pain of unhealed wounds, we weave a protective cocoon of beliefs and identities.” – Ezra Bayda, At Home in the Muddy Watter
Many of us have one or several main core wounds and a bunch of minor ones. In psychology they are also known as “Original Sensitising Events” (OSE’s). These are all based in experiences from the past where we were left with an impression that stayed with us. This impression then became a basis for a belief, which in turn became a pattern and part of our personality. The impression might have been; “It is not safe for me to express my opinion”, “If I fail my family might not love me”, “I can’t do anything right”, etc. That impression is often formed at a time in our childhood where we are yet to develop the concept of “individual thought”, which is usually between 9 and 11. Before then we have this idea that if I think “I am not loveable”, then everybody else has that same thought. Hence, if you have a thought that, if someone else has that same thought, would be a threat to your livelihood, you develop defence mechanisms to prevent that from happening, i.e. we might over compensate. For example, if you core wound is “abandonment” there might be several beliefs resulting from that and you would then go out of your way to ensure that you aren’t abandoned again, which might result in people pleasing, pushing people away to not give them a chance to abandon you, being guarded so that people don’t get to know you because they might then abandon you, etc.
As with all aspects in life, this topic is very complex in how the core wound appears, manifests, how we act from it and eventually, hopefully, identify and clear it. The core wounds are lodged very hard in our system, they are hard wired because of how intrinsic they become to our programming and conditioning. This is why it is so difficult to even be able to identify these patterns, and even more challenging, identifying their root causes. You might also recognise these as karmic energies. Our brains will use our programming and conditioning to search out experiences to validate what we believe. Our subconscious doesn’t know what is for your best, it only enhances and enforces what it is fed. This is why it is so important to realise our superpower of choice; we are the thinkers not our thoughts. With that in mind we can take charge and release our core wounds’ hold on us.
Alas, the first step is to recognise and acknowledge there are patterns that derive from your core woundings. Once you are able to identify these patterns, the triggers that you experience that set off your defence mechanism are your clues to your core woundings. There are many different ways people deal with their core woundings, whether that is through psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, energy healing, aroma therapy, meditation, etc., there are many ways of getting to root of one’s problems. One techniques is called “The Infinity Life”, which is a course where you learn tools to help clear your core woundings and energetic blockages preventing their release. It’s an 8 week course that you can then become qualified to teach yourself. To find out more, click here “The Infinity Life” (transparency disclosure, the author is a founding member). The point is that we hold the vibrations of our core wounding and part of the solution is to raise our frequencies beyond the negativity of our core woundings. I am not suggesting her, by any means, that you practice spiritual bypass (to learn more about it, check out the episode on “Spiritual Bypass”) and supress or dismiss the work and the emotions coming up around it. To the contrary, fully acknowledge and recognise your shadow self and integrate it into your being is, in my experience, the only way; go through rather than avoid. You can’t control the emotions that come up, but you can control how you act, think and speak when they come up. If you practice compassion, acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude when you are triggered, you raise your vibrations and, slowly but surely, you install new programming into your subconscious. Once you have the new programme installed you will start living your life with that as your basepoint, not your core wounding; you release your karma.
Good luck and be kind to yourself